The WORK virus...

There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by
hand. This virus is called the Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone
else, via any means, DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should
come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good
friends to the nearest pub. Purchase the antidote known as
Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE).

The quickest acting WINE type is called
Swift-Hitting-Infiltrator-Remover-All-Zones (SHIRAZ) but this is only
available for those who can afford it; the next best equivalent is
Cheapest-Available-System-Killer (CASK). Take the antidote repeatedly
until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

Forward this warning to five friends. If you do not have five friends,
you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life. This
virus is DEADLY (Destroys-Every-Available-Decent-Living-Youngster).

After extensive testing it has been concluded that
Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but
may require a more generous application.